"What is a Father?"

Dear Friends in Christ,

            This has not been an easy sermon to write. In fact, it might rank among one of my most difficult. And it’s certainly one that I have been dreading for a long time. How does a man who neither had a father growing up, nor is yet a father himself, write a Father’s Day sermon? It reminded me of a story I read by a Catholic priest who related the difficulties of providing marriage counseling to his parishioners. Yet, he found a way. And, in fact, he became quite good at it, having never been in a single relationship himself.

Because, you see, Scripture is very clear on subjects like these. Oh, I’m not talking about simple advice here. The Bible can be hit or miss on “advice.” There are plenty of farmers in this room who love to be able to open up their Bibles and get “advice” on what to do about their crops, or cash strapped families who would love to get “advice” on how to pay the bills when gas is at $4 per gallon. No, if I had to choose, I’d say the farmers should stick to the weather reports, and young families should stick to financial pros like Dave Ramsey (insert plug here).

What the Bible says about subjects like marriage and fatherhood is not “advice.” It’s “vocation.” It is God’s divine calling for your life. Being a father is a job that God has set aside for you since the moment you were born. Every experience in your life has been leading up to the moment when your wife conceived a child.

Which means that every man and woman in this room should be listening to what I have to say today. Because if you’re a woman, then you are the mother or potential mother of a future father. And if you are a man then you are a father or a potential father yourself. And even if you’re in the small percentage that don’t fall into any of those categories today, then you are still a part of this church, and this church is called to support the body of Christ, of which, fathers are a vital part. So even though I may direct my words to fathers this morning, there is no one who can squirm out of this sermon today.

Fatherhood is a calling. It is a role for which we are divinely chosen. It is a role for which we are divinely equipped. But that does not mean that it is a role we can simply assume will take care of itself. For the Bible is full of bad fathers. Even among Godly men, being a father cannot be taken for granted. It requires work. And I’m not talking about “putting food on the table, paying for college, going to baseball games” work. I’m talking about spiritual preparation, Godly discipline, and Biblical wisdom. I’m talking about work our world typically ignores or, at best, tries to pigeonhole into the job descriptions of pastors and Sunday School teachers.

So what is the Biblical job description of a father? What is each man called to do in the leadership of his family? What should every man, woman, and child around the fathers of our congregation both expect, and encourage of him, through their support and exhortations?

Well, first and foremost, a father is faithful. He demonstrates personal faithfulness. If any man ever hopes to raise a Godly family, he must first be the example of a Godly lifestyle. The Bible is littered with examples of men, both righteous and unrighteous, who succeeded or failed at the task set before purely based on their own personal devotion to God. Abraham, the man whose very name means “father of nations,” is a prime example of this. Abraham was not a perfect man by any means. He disgraced himself and his wife by fearfully refusing to acknowledge their marriage. He doubted God’s plan to give him a son in his old age. He was an imperfect human, pure and simple.

But when called upon to take the ultimate test of faithfulness, Abraham persevered. Even at the risk of his own son, Abraham obeyed God’s calling. He trusted that no matter what happened, his life and life of his son were in God’s hands. And as St. Paul writes, that faith was credited to him as righteousness.

The man of God who remains faithful to God’s Word, the father who sets an example for his children and his children’s children, the man who can truly stand as a patriarch of the faith and declares the coming of the Lord till the end of his days will have that devotion credited to him as righteousness. And that is a gift beyond any we could possibly conceive.

The job of a father is to be faithful, but example alone will not raise a Godly family. That faithfulness must be taught as well. The calling of a father is to teach. As we heard in our lessons several weeks ago, the people of God are commanded by God to “lay up these words of mine in your heart and soul.” But even beyond that, “Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Simply put, God’s people are commanded to create a home that is filled with His Word.

The reason for this is demonstrated in the story of Eli. Eli the priest was a faithful man of God. He had served in the temple all his life. He was well respected by the people. He faithfully delivered God’s Word and promises to Hannah and played an integral part in God’s answer to her prayers. But for all his personal faithfulness and all his priestly training, Eli didn’t teach his sons God’s Word. At least, not until they were too old to heed his rebukes. And so they grew up to be wicked men, who stole from the offerings of God and slept with the woman who helped at the temple. God punished them for their evil, but his punishment was not confined to just them. God punished Eli as well. Eli had raised his sons without a knowledge of the Law, yet permitted them to continue living in ignorance, and God asked him point blank, “Why do you honor your sons more than me?”

Eli loved his sons. He wanted the best for them. But he put his love for his sons above his love for God. He put his sons’ pleasure above teaching them God’s Word. And as a result, his sons died, he died, and his family line was cut off from the face of the earth. God’s reason for this harsh punishment was simple. “Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained.”

Now there are many parents in here probably thinking, “My kids aren’t that evil. My kids don’t steal. My kids aren’t sleeping around.” But ask yourself this: how many times have you put your children’s pleasure above teaching them God’s Word? How many times have you placed a basketball game, or a music recital, or even your career itself above going to church, or attending Sunday school, or having a family devotion? How much of your life is spent honoring your children above God?

That’s a hard question to ask, but its one that I think far too few fathers have considered. In an age when just spending time with our families is difficult, have we forgotten why we need to spend time with them, and what we’re called to do with that time?

And yet, even with the best example of faithfulness, even with perfect teaching, sometimes children make mistakes. They are human, just like you. It’s the nature of original sin. You could be a perfect father, and still have sinful children. Because, in fact, there were two people who had a perfect father, and still committed the very first sin. So that is the third job of a father: to forgive.

Jesus illustrated that poignantly in perhaps his most well known parable: the prodigal son. A loving father who raised two fine young men. One of them remains a devoted, prudent son. The other squanders a third of his father’s wealth and doesn’t even write home until he’s at starvation’s door. Two children raised in the same home, with the same rules, by the same father. One a success. The other a failure. And yet both loved.

And yet, you may be thinking, isn’t that parable about God? The father in the story isn’t supposed to be a real father. He’s our heavenly Father. And that’s true. But that is the nature of fatherhood. That, in fact, is the nature of any vocation. God does not call us to tasks that are foreign to him. He does not call us to that which he doesn’t already intimately understand himself. In fact, anything we do as a Christian is merely a reflection, a shadow, of what God has already done for us. So when we look at our role as human fathers, we are really looking at how we can be more like our Heavenly Father.

When we see God’s perfect goodness, we see our own need to be more righteous. When we see God’s guidance of his people through the Law, we see our own need to guide our children better in God’s Word. And when we see the forgiveness poured out upon his sinful, disobedient people, we see our great need not only to forgive, but to be forgiven. And that is possibly God’s greatest gift to us. Even in our failures, God has shown us how to succeed.

And we will have failures. But we know our Heavenly Father has welcomed us back with open arms. He has seen us from a long way off and embraced us. No matter how successful you feel you’ve been, either personally or parentally, you have been welcomed back into His family. You have a new start and a new mandate to be the father He has called you to be. To bring your family into His family. And to be the mothers, sons, and daughters who support that work, and in so doing fulfill your calling as well. May God grant us all the strength to work as a church, as a family, toward that goal.

Amen.