"A Forgiving Heart"

Colossians 3:13-14

¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

 

     Dear Friends in Christ,   

   I wonder if anyone here today got a puppy for Christmas a little over a month ago because if you did, it’s quite possible that the cuteness has worn off by now and reality has set in.  It was many years that my family and I got a puppy, not for Christmas, but just because Marilyn and I felt that our girls needed a warm friendly canine to grow up with.  She was a miniature dachshund that we named Kibbles.  And oh what a day it was when we went to pick her up from her owners!  We lived in Tuscola and the owners lived in Charleston, about 35 miles away.  We’d had an ice storm the night before and because of downed trees and power lines we could only get within a couple blocks of the house where she was.  But we had already decided that nothing was going to prevent us from getting this adorable little puppy that we couldn’t wait to bring home and begin to enjoy.

   It wasn’t long though before I realized that this tiny bundle of joy was going to become one mighty big responsibility.  And since our girls were fairly young yet, guess whose shoulders that burden of responsibility fell primarily upon?  That’s right.  MINE!  I remember taking Kibbles out every 15 minutes at first to get her housebroken, even though it was freezing cold outside and everything was covered in ice.  I remember allowing her at first to sleep under the covers at the foot of our bed because of the yelping she’d do in the middle of the night.  I remember getting up each morning and taking her out and feeding her as my first order of business.  I remember furniture she chewed on, along with shoes and slippers and anything else she could sink her sharp little teeth into.  And I remember thinking, “What have we done?  Our peaceful lives have been unpeacefully disrupted by this wiener dog of an intruder in our home and there’s nothing we can do about it.  We’re stuck with her because of a decision we made and there’s no turning back.”

   Well, I do want you to know that it wasn’t all bad with Kibbles.  She turned out to be a wonderful dog that became a major part of our family for 12 years and it was one of the saddest days of my life when we had to have her put to sleep some years ago.  But have you ever felt the way I initially felt with Kibbles – that you were stuck with something you weren’t too sure you wanted to be stuck with?  And I’m not talking about a dog here.  I’m talking about a husband or wife, a child, a parent, a boss, an employee, a friend, a roommate, or any other relationship that requires loyalty for survival.  The realization of such permanence can lead to panic, can’t it?  At least it almost did with me and Kibbles.  I had to answer some tough questions, like: Could I tolerate waking up with the same hairy and hungry creature in my bed each morning?  (Some of you wives have probably asked the same question!)  Was I willing to clean up any messes she might make?  (Some of you parents have probably contemplated that question a time or two about your children!)  Could I tolerate being barked at every time I walked in the door?  (Some of you kids probably know what that’s like!)  Such are the questions we ask when we feel we are stuck with something or someone that we’re not sure we want to be stuck with.

   And as I thought about it, I realized that there are 3 common ways people react to this condition that I will refer to as “stuckitis.”  Either they will flee; they will fight; or they will forgive.  Many opt to flee, to get out of the relationship and start again elsewhere, though they are often surprised when the condition surfaces on the other side of the fence as well.  Others fight.  Houses become combat zones or offices become boxing rings as tension and conflict become the order of the day.  But then there are a few – a precious few – who have learned to practice the art of forgiveness.  And what better person to learn that specialty from than the One who practiced it the most, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

   Jesus knew exactly what it was like to be stuck with someone who didn’t exactly measure up to his expectations of them.  For 3 years he ran with the same crew of 12 men – 12 men who definitely had their unusual quirks and weaknesses.  Do you think it was hard for Jesus to love them, especially knowing as true God every mistake they had ever made and ever would make?

   Was it hard for him to love Peter, knowing that Peter would one day deny even knowing him?  Was it hard for him to love Thomas, knowing that Thomas would one day doubt his resurrection and demand visible and tangible proof before he would ever believe such a fanciful tale?  Was it hard for Jesus to love James and John, knowing that one day they would want to call down fire from heaven to destroy some Samaritans who refused to let them pass through their territory?  Was it hard for him to love Judas, knowing that he would be the one who would ultimately betray him and start the ball of his Passion rolling?  Indeed, how was Jesus able to love such an inept, disappointing, weak-kneed group of men the way he did?  Perhaps if we can answer that question, we can discover the secret whereby we can love those people in our lives with who are difficult to love, those who have so often disappointed us, those with whom we are stuck.

    And the answer as to how Jesus was able to love his disciples, I believe, can be found in the familiar course of events that took place in an upper room in Jerusalem the night before Jesus was put to death.  So let’s visit that story for just a few moments.  They had gathered there to observe the centuries-old meal called the Passover.  As they entered the room, one by one they took their places around the table.  They couldn’t help but notice a pitcher of water, a towel, and a basin sitting on the floor, waiting to be used to wash and cleanse the dirty feet of those who were about to dine there.  But who would carry out this customary act of foot-washing?  Ordinarily it was left to the lowest servant in the household to perform this menial task, but no such servant was present this night.  So who would do it?  Apparently that became the topic of discussion for Luke tells us in his account of this story that a dispute broke out among the disciples concerning which of them was the greatest?  Why argue about that at this time?  My opinion is because they were trying to determine who among them was lowest on the totem pole because that would be the one who would have to wash the others’ feet.  I say that especially in the light of what Jesus does.  For he, the Master and Leader of the group, assumes the role of servant.  He, the King of the universe, takes the towel and basin of water.  And the One whose hands once flung the stars across the heavens now uses those hands to wash away the filth from dirty, smelly feet.  The One before whom the Bible says all nations will one day kneel, now kneels before his self-centered and pride-filled disciples.

   And he does so even though he knows the future of these feet he’s about to wash.  He knows that in a few hours those feet will dash for cover in the Garden of Gethsemane and leave him alone with his enemies.  He knows that the feet of one of them will nervously pace around a campfire later that night like a cat on a hot tin roof, only to openly and vehemently deny any association with Christ.  He knows that the feet of one of them will lead the Roman guards and the Jewish leaders out to the garden so Jesus can be arrested.  Isn’t that something?  You know, I looked for a passage in the Gospels that said something to this effect: “Jesus washed the feet of all his disciples except the feet of Judas,” but I couldn’t find one.  What an incredible moment it must have been when Jesus silently and lovingly and tenderly lifted the feet of his betrayer and washed them in the basin!

   So how was he able to do it?  How was he able to love these 12 disappointing men with whom he was stuck?  The only way he did it was by offering them his grace which simply means kindness and favor they did not deserve.  It was a conscious and intentional act on his part.  Now some of you may be thinking, “Oh, I could never do that for the person who wronged me.  The hurt is so deep.  The wounds are so fresh.  Just seeing the person makes me want to cringe.”  And perhaps that is your problem.  Could it be that you’re looking at the wrong person?  What was it the writer to the Hebrews once said?  “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.”  So maybe what you need to do is shift your gaze away from the one who hurt you and instead set it upon the one who died to save you.  For Jesus has done the same for you and me as he did for his disciples.  You see, we’re no different than they.  We too have hurt him, wronged him, offended him, and disappointed him more times than we care to remember.  But in spite of all that, he keeps right on loving us.  In him we have a Savior who kneels before us and gazes upon the darkest acts of filth in our lives.  But instead of recoiling in horror, he reaches out in kindness and says, “I can cleanse you of that if you want.”  Then from the basin of his amazing grace he scoops out a palm-full of mercy and washes away our sin.  Isn’t that what John tells us in his 1^st epistle when he says, “The blood of Jesus, God’s Son, cleanses us from all sin”?

   But that’s not all he does for us.  Because he lives in us, as we established in my sermon last Sunday when we looked at Gal. 2:20 where the Apostle Paul says, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me,” – because he lives in us he can give us the power, the ability, and yes, even the desire to forgive those who have wronged us.  Because he has forgiven us, we can forgive others.  Because he had and still has a forgiving heart, we can have a forgiving heart too.

   “But wait a minute,” you might be thinking, “I’m not the one who did anything wrong.  I’m not the one who cheated.  I’m not the one who lied.  I’m not the guilty party here, so why do I have to take the first step to save a relationship that’s been damaged?”  That’s a good question.  And to that I would simply say, Jesus certainly wasn’t the guilty party either, was he?  Of all the men in the upper room that night, there was only one who was truly worthy of having his feet washed.  And yet he was the one who washed everyone else’s feet.  In other words, the one worthy of being served was the one who served.  And by so doing he set an example for us.  In fact, he told his disciples that much when he finished washing their feet.  He said, “If I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash each other’s feet.  I did this as an example so that you should do as I have done to you.”

   And you know what often happens when that example is followed?  If the one in the right volunteers to “wash the feet” of the one in the wrong, more often than not both parties end up on their knees and the relationship is saved.

   That’s what happened to one married couple I recently read about.  Through a series of events the wife learned that her husband had committed an act of unfaithfulness over a decade before.  He had made the mistake of keeping it from her in the hopes that this was one secret he would be able to carry to his grave.  But as so often happens in situations like that, the day when she found out.  And you can only imagine how deeply hurt she was.  So what did she do?

   Well, through the advice of a counselor the couple dropped everything and went away for several days.  A decision had to be made concerning the future of their relationship and it had to be made primarily by the wife since she was the injured party.  Would she flee, would she fight, or would she forgive?  They spent those days talking together, walking together, reflecting together, and praying together.  The wife was clearly in the right.  She could have left.  Many women have done so for far lesser reasons.  Or she could have stayed and gotten even – made his life a living hell.  Other women have done that too.  But she chose a different response.  On the final night of their trip, the man found a note on his pillow.  It read: “I’d rather do nothing with you than something without you.  I forgive you.  I love you.  Let’s move on.”

   That note might as well have been a basin.  And the pen with which she wrote it might as well have been a pitcher of water, for out of it poured mercy and with it she washed her husband’s feet.

   I ask you, then, as we draw this sermon to a close, are there any relationships in your world right now that are in need of such mercy?  Are there any bridges that need to be built, any fences that need to be mended?  Are there any sitting around your table like there were with Jesus in that upper room who are in need of your grace and forgiveness?  If so, why not do what Jesus did?  Having already received mercy from him, why not offer that mercy to others?  Having already been forgiven by him, why not extend that forgiveness to others?  Having already had your feet washed by him, why not do the same for others?  Trust me, you’ll be glad you did.  And in the vast majority of cases, so will the ones whose feet you wash.

Amen.